Dreaming Of Sleep
by Cari7
Summary: Takes place Season 3, between “Couplet” and “Loyalty”. Just a peek into a night in the life of a vampire daddy... Disclaimer: I don't own any of them... it's all so sad.


**Dreaming of Sleep**

Angel cringed at the soft sounds coming from the darkness. He hoped they would stop but knew they wouldn't. They would grow louder and louder until he was forced to do something he really didn't want to do.

_Coward._

The word flitted through his head but he was beyond caring. It was easy to deal with the unknown but in this case, he knew what was coming.

The sound, as anticipated, grew louder. It rose and soon the room was filled with a wailing too loud to be ignored.

"Coming Connor." Angel sighed and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He reached for his robe only find he was still wearing it from the last time he'd been summoned by the unhappy cries of his son.

Reaching the crib, Angel gazed down at the small being dressed in footie pajamas. The baby gazed back, his cries interrupted momentarily by the appearance of his father.

"So, what's it going to be this time? Bottle? Diaper change? Endless pacing back and forth?" Angel asked and smiled.

His son amazed him. The fact that he existed at all was a miracle but even beyond that, the idea that this tiny creature came from him, was a wonder he still had trouble fully grasping.

The baby blew a spit bubble at him. Then, without warning, he started to cry again.

"Connor, Connor, Connor…" Angel said picking him up. "What is the problem? I mean, sure, I'm a vampire and all but even creatures of the night have to sleep sometime." Gently bouncing the baby, he made his way to the refrigerator. He got out a bottle and began to heat it on the stove.

"Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop." He sang softly. "When the wind blows the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks…" Angel paused as the next words came to mind.

_What…? Wow what a crappy song to sing to children._ He thought.

He looked down at Connor. The baby had four fingers stuffed in his mouth; his little eyebrows were drawn together as if he were studying his father.

"Uh, the rest of the song isn't that great." Angel told him.

Connor drew his fingers out of his mouth and began to wail again.

Angel rolled his eyes. "Ok, how about this instead?" he said and his face morphed. He grinned a mouthful of fangs at his son.

The baby stopped crying and cooed.

There was a knock at the door.

"Angel?" he heard Lorne say just as he opened it. "I heard the baby and… GEEZ!" Lorne took a step back. "Angelcakes, you want to put that away?" he said gesturing at Angel's face as he came into the room.

Angel reverted back to his human face. "Sorry, he likes it. And I'm running out of ideas of how to make him stop crying."

"Here, give the little tyke to me." Lorne scooped the child up and cradled him against the chartreuse pajamas he wore. "See, now, Uncle Lorne will make it all better. Just don't spit up on me, sweetie. This is silk. " He told Connor as he went to the stove and took the bottle out of the warming pan. "What seems to be the problem?" He asked Angel while testing the formula on his wrist. Satisfied that it was the right temperature, he began feeding the baby.

"I don't know what the problem is." Angel said through slightly gritted teeth. "If I knew I could fix it."

"Now Angel-pie, no need to get testy. Did you try singing to him?"

"Yes," Angel ran a hand through his hair and only managed to make it more spiky than usual. "Every song that I know."

"Well there's your problem." Lorne chuckled and Angel glared at him.

"I'm kidding! Don't get your boxers in a bunch! Wow, a few sleepless nights and you are less fun than… well, usual."

Angel sighed and watched Connor eat for a few moments. The baby seemed perfectly content that a green, red-eyed demon with horns was leaning over him. Not to mention the whole vamp face thing. "You don't think there's something wrong with him, do you?" he asked.

Lorne took the empty bottle away from the baby. "Not with an appetite like this." He held Connor up and peered at him critically for a moment. The baby stared back, gave a slight smile, then burped loudly. "See what I mean? Nothing wrong with this kid."

Lorne handed Connor back to his father. The baby's eyes were heavy and he yawned.

"Mission accomplished and I'm off to dreamland myself." Lorne said as he made his way to the door.

"Hey, Lorne… you ever wonder about the words to 'Rock-a-bye Baby'?"

Lorne clucked his tongue. "Horrid song! Babies falling out of trees? I mean, it's sick! And don't get me started on nursery rhymes…" He said as he left the room.

Angel looked at his now sleeping son. Carefully, he laid him in his crib and made his way back to his bed.

Just as his head touched the pillow, he heard the soft sounds again.

_No._

The sound of rustling, terrycloth pajamas on cotton sheets, which he knew so well.

_No, not again!_

A small cry. A pause. Then another, longer cry that stretched out into a long wail.

Angel sighed and made his way to the crib again to find his son looking up at him with wide eyes.

"Hello, again." He said to the baby.

There was a knock at the door, this one soft, almost hesitant.

"Come in Fred." he called as he picked Connor up.

"Hey there." Fred said as she stepped into the room. "He's just not sleeping… again… is he?" She straightened her glasses on her nose. "Well of course not, I can see he's awake." She said answering her own question. "Something I can do?"

Angel put the baby up on his shoulder and patted his back. "Three days he's been doing this." He said with a sigh. "Doesn't want to sleep at night or during the day."

"I know, I can hear him down the hall." Fred said as she approached him.

"Sorry about that." Angel muttered, staring for a moment at her fuzzy pink slippers. For some reason they looked so absurd to him that he wanted to laugh.

_Great. I'm delirious._ He thought with a slight shake of his head.

"Oh, that's not what I meant, honest. I was just… I just thought maybe I could…" Fred stumbled over her own words.

"It's ok Fred. I know he's keeping everyone up, not just me."

As Angel turned and Connor's face came into view, she smiled at him. "Oh! I think he smiled at me." She said.

"The books say its gas." Angel said. "I'm not so sure."

Fred held out her arms and Angel gave her the baby.

Cradling Connor, Fred leaned against the back of a chair. She spoke softly and smiled down at him, tracing the features of his face with her finger. "He's so beautiful." She said and Angel felt a lump start to form in his throat. Sometimes he forgot how his son affected not just him, but everyone in his world.

"Maybe he's teething." Fred said and gently stuck the tip of her finger in the baby's mouth.

"Teething? No, he's not old enough yet…" Angel said. "All the books say that…"

"Books?" Fred said, an incredulous look on her face. "What do they know?"

Angel stared at her in shock. "The only way that could have been weirder is if Wesley had said it."

Fred snorted through her nose a little. "What I mean is that the books don't know anything about Connor. He's unique, like you are. Unique, I mean. And besides, even regular human children are sometimes born with teeth, so teething might be possible."

"He _is_ a regular human child." Angel grumbled. "Wait, some kids are born with teeth?"

Fred nodded. "Yeh." She continued to rub Connor's gums with her finger. The baby gurgled happily. "In some places they even thought that if you were born with teeth you'd be a…" She looked up suddenly and blushed.

"What?"

"A… vampire." She finished. "But you know that's just superstition."

"Oh. Of course." Angel said dryly.

"And besides, no teeth." Fred pronounced brightly. "Just smooth baby gums and a lot of baby drool."

"Here." He said passing her one the many burping pads he kept lying around. Fred wiped her fingers then placed it on her shoulder so she could burp Connor.

"Lorne did that when he fed him." Angel said.

Fred patted Connor's back. "Well, maybe he has another one in there. I use to take care of my little cousins back home and one of them was so gassy it took three or four burps before she was good."

Fred stood up and patted Connor while bouncing lightly on her feet. As she turned, he saw Connor peering over her shoulder at him and smiled.

Suddenly there was a tremendous burp.

"Woops! Sorry! Too many tacos for dinner." Fred said, turning red.

Connor squirmed then gave an answering burp.

"There, we both feel better huh?" Fred said as she handed the infant back to Angel.

"Thanks Fred." He said as he watched Connor's eyes close.

"No problem. I like helping." She told him through a yawn. "Let me know if I can do anything else." She said as she walked out into the hall and closed the door behind her.

As quickly and quietly as possible, Angel placed Connor in his crib and hurried back to his own bed.

He lay down and waited, listening to his son's breathing. It was steady and remained that way. With a sigh, Angel closed his eyes.

Soft sounds again. Rustling. Connor's breathing quickened.

"No." Angel groaned softly. "No, no. Connor…"

The baby let out a cry.

Angel made his way to the crib. "So this is some sort of joke right?" he asked the child. Connor stared up at him and kicked his legs. "Some sort of baby joke on Daddy right?"

Connor screwed up his face and let out another cry.

Angel picked him up.

There was a sound from Connor's stomach. The baby grunted. Then there was a stench.

"Oh… oh man." Angel said, holding the baby a bit away from his body as he moved toward the changing table. "That is… vile." He told his son as he placed him on the changing mat. "Sometimes having a vampire sense of smell is not a good thing."

The baby gurgled and cooed.

"Yeh, I bet it feels better now that it's out!"

There was a sound at the door.

"Angel?" he heard Wesley say, before he tapped softly on the door. "Everything…

all right?"

"Come in Wes, I've sort of got my hands… full."

Wesley opened the door and stepped into the room. He looked as disheveled as Angel felt.

"What are you still doing here?" Angel asked him as he closed the clean diaper up and began fastening Connor's pajamas.

"Research." Wesley said absently. "Is he all right? I heard him crying."

"He's fine." Angel said picking Connor up from the table. "He's been fed and burped and emptied so I guess…" he sighed. "I guess that means we get to start over again."

"You look tired." Wesley said.

Angel looked at him. "Three days and nights. I mean, I've gone this long without sleep before but taking care of a baby on top of it is just brutal."

"Can I see him?" Wesley asked.

"Sure, here hold him while I wash my hands."

Wesley took the child. There certainly didn't seem to be anything physically wrong with him. As he looked down at Connor, the baby waved a tiny fist in the air then stuck the entire thing in his mouth.

"Perhaps… I should take him for a night. Or two. Let you get some sleep." Wesley said eyes still on Connor.

"What? No Wes. I appreciate it but it's not so bad really. Besides, you look like you need to get some sleep yourself." Angel held out his hands and Wesley handed the baby back. He watched as Angel kissed Connor on the forehead and then started back toward the crib.

"It's only that, well lack of sleep causes many… problems… in new parents." Wesley said. "Irritability and aggression are among the more common ones."

Angel laid Connor down in the crib. "Irritability. Yeh, I can see that." He said with a chuckle. "I'm ready to stake myself just for the quiet."

"If it gets too much to handle, you will ask one of us for help, won't you?" The seriousness in Wesley's voice made Angel look at him.

"What? I was kidding Wes! You really do need some sleep."

Wesley stared at him for a moment, then he smiled a little. "Perhaps you're right. I've been at my books too much."

Angel smiled back. "Go home, get some sleep. Gunn left hours ago…at least you two can do that. Poor Lorne and Fred are stuck here in the same boat as me."

Angel followed Wesley to the door. As they reached it, Wesley turned. "Angel, you should get some sleep. What if we come under attack again? You should be at your best. I could place wards on my apartment… to keep demon influences out… he'd be safe there."

"Thanks Wes, I'll keep that in mind." Angel said, touched by his friend's concern. "But most of Wolfram and Hart's cronies are human. And if we come under attack again, I think I'm his best defense. You know I'd never let anyone hurt my son."

Wesley looked at him for an instant, drew a breath as if he wanted to say something more. Then he simply nodded.

"Go get some sleep Wes." Angel told him.

"Good night." Wesley said as the door closed.

A sound from the crib drew his attention.

Angel walked over and looked down at his son. The baby waved his arms and yawned. Then his eyes closed and he was asleep.

Relieved, though not at all hopeful it would last, Angel went and lay down in his bed.

He thought about his friends, how they had come to help him in his unexpected new role.

He thought for a moment about Cordy… and Groo. But then pushed that out of his head. If he ever wanted to sleep, that was not something to dwell on.

His last thought before sleep claimed him was about Connor himself.

Angel smiled in the darkness.

And waited for his son to rise… again.


End file.
